I've had a hard time escaping this idea that sexual issues are solved by working on the sexual В issue, or 'spicing things up'. For me, I've always always had to work on the relationship first. Once I feel comfortable and secure, I'm usually up for sex, and it's usually good sex. Not crazy new sex, just good warm close sex. Which what I want. If you already have good sex, and are looking for more exciting good sex, then the ideas below and above make more sense to me.